Outside of your comfort zone is where you grow, where you re-define your life, where we call the Brave Zone.
Looking back on my terrible dating life, the true reason of so many failures is that I was too careful to face my fear: I was too slowly going out of what I was comfortable with; I grew my confidence too late.
Reflecting on the TEDx journey, deep inside, I was facing my fear, the fear of not good enough, the fear of rejection.
I can give many more examples: job applications, traveling, public speaking, they all share the common element: you need to face your fear. The more you do it the quicker you will succeed.
It sounds a bit cliché, but this is the difference: some know that they should go out of the comfort zone; very few actually take actions. In the past half year I have been trying different challenges and together with a few friends, colleagues we started the group Brave Zone. My life was transformed. We positively impacted on each other and we are experiencing so much more that life can offer. Sounds too good to be true? Join us in one of the upcoming events! Below is just one example.
Cold therapy has been widely discussed and studied. It’s surprisingly simple and effective. But again, the majority of people will not get into it. It requires you face the fear. I take cold shower every morning now, and every time I still have the unease resistance: “why the hell am I doing this?” But every time I feel refreshed after. That’s exactly the daily challenge I need.
The ultimate solution to dating problems
No matter you are Asian or any other race, if there is just one advice I will give you to have a fulfilled dating life, this would be it: always confront your fear right now! You don’t need money, you don’t need Tinder, you don’t need pickup artists. You need to take actions to face your fear. The more often you do it the more confidence you will gain. And that will make you an extremely attractive person. Not to mention all the stories you will have to tell.
Thinking in defining moments
Still remember all the key moments with high impact on your life? Painful? Insightful? Or maybe feeling connected? It turns out that most of the defining moments share similar trails. They are unusual; they bring you to a deeper level of understanding; they build strong connections; and they are the Brave Zone moments. I find it easy to create or even engineer those key moments in your life if you follow the simple method: identify fears; create activities/tasks; gather a group to take the challenge; then enjoy!
Imagine after many years, you are reaching the last stage of your life. Plenty of time to reflect on what you’ve done. Would you remember that dinner filled with boring topics? Would you remember that colleague who keeps ignoring you? Would you remember that lazy day on the beach with nothing done? I would not. But I will remember my TEDx speeches, every one of them! I will remember the special birthday party, with so much joy. I will remember the moment I face my biggest fear. I hope a brave life is also a rich and happy life.